There are many reasons writing a book is difficult, but I want to share the hardest part for me. This topic is on my mind because our first book is going to be available very soon. We’re excited to start the journey of self-publishing many books together, and we look forward to sharing more of our thoughts on relationships, engagement, marriage, and family with you in years to come.
If you ask Corrie just a few questions about me as a person — especially about how I work — she would most likely bring up the phrase “moving forward.” I say this a lot. In everything I do, I find it important to regularly feel I am (or the project I’m working on is) moving forward.
But like me, many people start books but never finish them. I have more than a handful of books in the works that I got to a certain place and then stored away for some later, unnamed time.
The reason this happens — at least for me — is that it’s incredibly difficult to move forward, to be satisfied with what has been written and to keep writing. While I’m all about moving forward, I’m also all about completely finishing what I start. Herein lies the dilemma. There’s no concrete measure for completion when it comes to each part of a book. Who says each part is complete? Ultimately, me. The author.
It’s easy to feel that there could always be more. It could always be better.
The Decision Provides Room for More
This dilemma could be compared to moving forward towards marriage. If you’re in the demographic of people who are considering marriage or you are already engaged, you understand that at some point you just have to make the decision to move forward. There is no exact definition for how complete your preparation needs to be.
Note: Preparation and putting in the hard work upfront is necessary. Nobody wants to read a mediocre book. And nobody wants a mediocre marriage. We wouldn’t have written on the topic of preparing for marriage if we didn’t think it’s important.
So we may have forgotten some things. We might not have included all the stories we would have liked to include. And I’m sure some of our sentences could be worded a bit better. But we feel good about the work we’ve put into the book, and at some point we’ll have to decide that it’s complete — remembering that there are years ahead to fill more books with more lessons, more stories, more of what we want to say. The great thing about a relationship that moves into marriage is that you have the same promise. You get years to build upon what you already have. Now is the time to commit to the journey and to prepare.
A Note on Feedback
One thing we’d encourage you to do if you are thinking of getting engaged or you are already engaged is to involve the community of people you trust in the whole process. This, too, is similar to what is necessary in writing a book. In fact, as I write this post, about twenty of our married friends are looking through the pages of our book and providing us with feedback.
Feedback from the community — whether it simply affirms what already exists or is constructive in nature — is an essential ingredient when it comes to moving forward. When there are no exact answers for the point of completion, having the support of a community around you helps provide you with confidence that what you’re doing is good and is important.
We look forward to sharing our book with you soon. Keep a look out. It will be available through both Kindle and Createspace.