This post is a simple challenge for those of you who are married or have been in a relationship for a good amount of time. I challenge you to do just what the title says. The next time you have some time to be with your significant other or spouse, let the feelings from when you first met rise to the surface.
How to Do This
If you’ve ever studied acting, you know the importance of being able to feel something real in the moment — to draw from an emotion that is completely true inside of you, only molding it to fit the current situation. That’s how you can accomplish this challenge.
- Be present with the one you love. Focus.
- Remember how you felt in the same kind of situation when the two of you first met.
- Let that feeling take root. Let it in so much that it becomes a reality again.
Why Do This?
The ability we have as humans to remember can be a gift. When we find ourselves busy and just going through the routines of life in our relationships, we can take our thoughts and feelings back to the beginning. This allows us to be more thankful in the moment and to truly treasure the relationship we’ve been given.
Remembering the early times together and even allowing some of the feelings we had then to resurface can also refuel our affection for each other. Yes, a love that is lasting requires hard work and sacrifice, but feelings play a role too. In our book (soon to be released), we encourage readers to look forward to when they will say “I do” and allow whatever comes to mind to shape what they do now. Similarly, I’d encourage you to look back to the first days and months together and let that stir in you a restored affection for the one you love — as you remember all the reasons this person has been like no other in your life and as you actually experience those feelings all over again.
What Made Me Think of This?
You might be asking that question. Truth is, I didn’t intentionally take on the challenge. Instead, the feelings just kind of happened to me. I often practice putting myself into a certain mindset or feeling that isn’t necessarily connected to the moment (and is sometimes the inverse of the negativity caused by a moment). This practice is a tool anyone can use, not some arcane experience.
In this case, I wasn’t trying to escape the moment with Corrie. Instead, I was trying to be present, and I naturally (perhaps because of the practice mentioned above) began to feel emotions that were familiar from years ago. All of the sudden, I had a connection to her that allowed me to view her in an old and new way all at once.
So I figured I’d write about it and encourage you to try it out. It’s pretty great.